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A Conversation With Kevin Spacey He Didn’t Know He Had

Kevin Spacey in his latest Christmas video, "KTWK"SCREENSHOT VIA YOUTUBE
Kevin Spacey seems to have a thing for Christmas, specifically making it about himself. For the second year in a row, he reprised his Frank Underwood character from House of Cards to issue a vaguely threatening, thoroughly creepy yuletide message to ensure, if nothing else, that he'd be a subject of conversation at Christmas dinners everywhere.

Posted on YouTube on Christmas Eve, the video is much shorter and less desperate-seeming than Spacey's 2018 video, in which the actor essentially denied the sexual assault accusations against him while simultaneously suggesting that even if he had done what he was accused of, so what? "Like I ever played by anyone's rules before... I never did," he said in last year's video. "And you loved it."

The new video is just one minute long, though the production value is a marked improvement over last year's, which had the polish of a mediocre student film. Spacey is shown sitting beside a fireplace in a perfectly boring Christmas sweater. A pair of stockings hang on the mantel. Piano music wafts in the background. It could be a commercial for Eddie Bauer. And then Spacey speaks, and the ghost of Frank Underwood immediately pollutes the scene with his sinister snarl.

His monologue, like those from House of Cards, addresses the viewer directly. But rather than just analyse what he says over the next 53 seconds, I thought I'd treat his monologue as just one half of a conversation and fill in the other side. So, with that, I offer this dialogue between myself and one of the greatest actors of his generation, who has nevertheless, in the wake of scandal, managed to turn himself into a punchline.

You didn't think I was going to miss the opportunity to wish you a merry Christmas, did you?

Honestly, Mr. Spacey, I hadn't given you much thought since last year's weird video.

It's been a pretty good year, and I'm grateful to have my health back.

Good in the sense that the charges against you were dropped, I guess, but if you're using your "health" as an analogy for your reputation, I think you may have a ways to go. And this video isn't helping.

And in light of that, I've made some changes in my life and I'd like to invite you to join me.

Great, I've been waiting for someone to give me some guidance. You seem like the right guy for the job.

As we walk into 2020, I'd like to cast my vote for more good in this world.

I'll admit, I didn't see that coming.

Ah yes, I know what you're thinking: Can he be serious?

Actually, I was thinking that you can't possibly be serious.

I'm dead serious.

Well then.

And it's not that hard, trust me.

Since you're in character as Frank Underwood, let me just say that there is absolutely no reason whatsoever that I or anyone else should trust you. And I think you, Mr. Spacey, know that, which is maybe why this video, like last year's, is so bizarre. If you want to rebuild your reputation, why do it in the character of a lying, murderous, corrupt narcissist?

The next time someone does something you don't like, you can go on the attack. But you can also hold your fire, and do the unexpected.

Oh? And what might that be?
You can kill them with kindness.

Thanks for the advice, Mr. Underspacey. I have literally no idea what that means, coming from you, or what's up with the suspense-thriller music that comes immediately after, but you have garnered nearly 2 million views on YouTube as of this writing, so apparently it doesn't matter.

Your similarity to a less fictional, and much more threatening, president continues to astound. Happy holidays, or whatever. See you next year, whether any of us wants to or not.

#kevinspacey #conversation #frankunderwood #houseofcards

Source: Forbes